"Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?"

"At exactly which point do you start to realise, that life without knowledge is death in disguise?"

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."

"I鈥檒l fight when needed, revel when there鈥檚 an occasion, mourn when there is grief, and die if my time comes鈥?but I won鈥檛 let anyone use me against my will."

"Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

"Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle may not grow."

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."

"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: 'Why is it so dark in here?'"

"...it is as hard to do your duty when men are sneering at you as when they are shooting at you."

"Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice."

"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."