"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible."

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."

"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it."

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."

"I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel."

"My Karma ran over your dogma."

"Like I always say, there's no 'I' in 'team'. There is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

"The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes--ah, that is where the art resides!"

"I don't care what people think. people are stupid."

"I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients."